The Daily Chirp
Past issues: Week 5Week 4Week 3Week 2Week 1
Official standings
| # | Team | W-L | PF | PA | +/- | True win % | Streak |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Non Lo So | 3-1 | 917 | 854 | +63 | 56.8% | L1 |
| 2 | She likes it Bouchard | 3-1 | 911 | 848 | +63 | 61.4% | W1 |
| 3 | Sherwood Stuff Her Good | 3-1 | 902 | 798 | +104 | 52.3% | W3 |
| 4 | Game Stopped | 3-1 | 883 | 867 | +16 | 54.5% | W1 |
| 5 | Jack Quinn Off | 3-1 | 838 | 872 | -34 | 43.2% | W2 |
| 6 | Cum In Seider | 2-2 | 942 | 834 | +107 | 59.1% | L2 |
| 7 | Going in Drai & Snugg | 2-2 | 924 | 909 | +16 | 59.1% | W2 |
| 8 | Never Go Full Bedard | 2-2 | 904 | 928 | -25 | 61.4% | L1 |
| 9 | This Guy Fox Hymans | 1-3 | 888 | 891 | -3 | 56.8% | L1 |
| 10 | Hughes it or lose it | 1-3 | 876 | 961 | -85 | 47.7% | W1 |
| 11 | Mitchy’s Maternity Leave | 1-3 | 805 | 898 | -93 | 27.3% | L2 |
| 12 | Orlov You Long Time | 0-4 | 782 | 911 | -129 | 20.5% | L4 |
Match up recap
Jack Quinn Off luckboxes another dub
Jack Quinn Off put up 249.0 to beat Orlov You Long Time’s 212.1 by 36.9. Artturi Lehkonen sneaked onto the honor roll with 28.1 while the schedule kept smiling—this is the very same squad leading the record book in wins above expected as the schedule merchant.
Bouchard drops a nuke and a hammer
She likes it Bouchard led the week with 283.6 and handed Never Go Full Bedard a 42.6-point spanking. Drake Batherson (28.0) and Ryan O’Reilly (27.0) feasted while Brock Nelson faceplanted at -15.64 and it still wasn’t close.
Drai & Snugg smothers Seider
Going in Drai & Snugg cruised 261.9–220.1 behind Leon Draisaitl’s week-best 43.9. Cum In Seider was the underperformer of the week at -68.57 vs projection—week 2’s record-book bully ate a 41.8-point L.
Game Stopped wins the pillow fight
Game Stopped edged Non Lo So 214.0–210.1, the closest matchup at 3.9. They were literally saved by schedule with the #9 score, while Non Lo So posted the week’s worst score.
Sherwood stuffs again
Sherwood Stuff Her Good handled Mitchy’s Maternity Leave 234.6–211.9 for a 22.7-point W. Kiefer Sherwood (31.3) paved a W3 while Mitchy’s iced Mikael Granlund at -11.48 and wondered why it hurt.
Hughes wins, Fox Hymans gets hosed
Hughes it or lose it dropped 263.3 to beat This Guy Fox Hymans’ 248.2 by 15.1. Fox Hymans set a record-book mark for most losing points with the week’s #5 score while McDavid (37.9) carried a squad dragged down by Crosby (-11.5) and Hyman (-10.89).
Jack Quinn Off is 3-1 and smelling awfully schedule-y
At 3-1 with a 43.2% true win rate and 1.27 wins above expected, the vibes are louder than the resume. The record book literally tags them as the schedule merchant—enjoy the parade now, because regression’s warming up the bus.
Weekly awards
Record book
Honor roll
Worst players
Power rankings
Week 5 preview
Sherwood Stuff Her Good is -284 with a 39.2-point spread (285.52 vs 246.27) and a 70% win chance against Jack Quinn Off. The schedule merchant meets a buzzsaw; total’s 531.8 and the fraud detector is screaming.
Books have Orlov You Long Time -129 (255.61 to 248.9, spread 6.7, 54% win pct) over She likes it Bouchard. Bouchard just dropped 283.6 and the biggest blowout—if Brock Nelson doesn’t go full sinkhole again, the dog’s barking.
Going in Drai & Snugg is -212 with a 27.7-point cushion (262.16 vs 234.51) over Mitchy’s Maternity Leave. With Draisaitl fresh off a 43.9 heater and a 65% win chance, Mitchy’s better bring more than Granlund shrugs to this 496.7 total.
Non Lo So is -319 with a 43.6-point spread (267.9 vs 224.3) and a 72% win chance over Hughes it or lose it. Careful though—Hughes just put up 263.3 while Non Lo So faceplanted for the week’s worst score at 210.1.
Never Go Full Bedard sits -166 (262.83 vs 245.42, spread 17.4, 59% win pct) against Game Stopped with a fat 508.2 total. Game Stopped just won with the #9 score, so if Bedard brings anything above 241.0, the variance fairy clocks out.
Cum In Seider is -182 (253.16 vs 231.81, spread 21.3, 62% win pct) after underperforming by -68.57 last week. This Guy Fox Hymans comes in hot off a schedule-victim 248.2 with McDavid’s 37.9 lurking, so this 485.0 total could get sweaty.