The Daily Chirp
Past issues: Week 5Week 4Week 3Week 2Week 1
Official standings
| # | Team | W-L | PF | PA | +/- | True win % | Streak |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Cum In Seider | 2-0 | 540 | 354 | +187 | 100.0% | W2 |
| 2 | Non Lo So | 2-0 | 474 | 425 | +49 | 81.8% | W2 |
| 3 | Game Stopped | 2-0 | 456 | 409 | +47 | 81.8% | W2 |
| 4 | She likes it Bouchard | 2-0 | 413 | 375 | +38 | 54.5% | W2 |
| 5 | Sherwood Stuff Her Good | 1-1 | 448 | 405 | +43 | 59.1% | W1 |
| 6 | Never Go Full Bedard | 1-1 | 437 | 435 | +2 | 68.2% | L1 |
| 7 | Mitchy’s Maternity Leave | 1-1 | 399 | 419 | -20 | 45.5% | W1 |
| 8 | Jack Quinn Off | 1-1 | 345 | 466 | -121 | 9.1% | L1 |
| 9 | Going in Drai & Snugg | 0-2 | 396 | 447 | -52 | 27.3% | L2 |
| 10 | This Guy Fox Hymans | 0-2 | 392 | 415 | -23 | 36.4% | L2 |
| 11 | Hughes it or lose it | 0-2 | 371 | 446 | -75 | 13.6% | L2 |
| 12 | Orlov You Long Time | 0-2 | 360 | 436 | -76 | 22.7% | L2 |
Match up recap
Seider drops a nuke
Cum In Seider hung 292.8 and turned Jack Quinn Off’s week into mulch, winning by 131.0. That’s the best score of the week, the biggest blowout, and a new high score in the record book, while Jack Quinn Off managed the week’s worst with 161.8 and missed projection by -44.49. 2-0 never looked this rude.
Bouchard survives, barely
She likes it Bouchard edged This Guy Fox Hymans 214.1 to 202.7, a win by 11.4 that reeks of schedule luck. The books say they’re the schedule merchant (+0.9091 wins above expected), and Crosby underwhelmed for Hymans (11.7 vs 23.25 expected), so yeah, the hockey gods are having a giggle. Hymans are also the record-book schedule victim in wins below expected for the season, which tracks.
Game Stopped, scoreboard didn’t
Game Stopped handled Going in Drai & Snugg 248.8 to 223.4, a clean 25.4 win to move to 2-0. Not flashy, just efficient violence from a top-3 power ranked squad while Drai & Snugg keep skating uphill.
Non Lo So wins the photo finish
Non Lo So clipped Never Go Full Bedard 245.7 to 236.3, the closest game of the week at 9.4. Bedard was the schedule victim, losing with the #5 score of the week even with Auston Matthews (40.1) and Mark Stone (27.9) on the honor roll—pain.
Mitchy wins the mid-off
Mitchy’s Maternity Leave beat Orlov You Long Time 207.5 to 171.3, and yes, that was the #8 score somehow cashing a W. Jack Eichel (27.2) did the heavy lifting, while Orlov even had Alexis Lafreniere (29.7) shine and still got stuffed.
Sherwood stuffs it properly
Sherwood Stuff Her Good blasted Hughes it or lose it 262.6 to 197.9, a 64.7 thumping with Tim Stutzle (36.7) headlining. Hughes it or lose it got dinged by clunkers like Rickard Rakell and Will Smith from the worst list and sits 0-2, dead last in power rankings—woof.
Bouchard’s 2-0 is built on bubble wrap
She likes it Bouchard is 2-0 but only a 54.5% true win team and a whopping +0.91 wins above expected, even earning the record-book ‘schedule merchant’ tag. Nice start, but the training wheels come off with Non Lo So up next—time to prove it wasn’t two weeks of dodging punches.
Weekly awards
Record book
Honor roll
Worst players
Power rankings
Week 3 preview
Mitchy’s Maternity Leave is -173 with a 60% win chance and a 19.2 spread over Jack Quinn Off (236.92 to 217.67). Total’s 454.6, so if Jack Quinn Off wants redemption after that 161.8 faceplant, this is the spot to not be terrible.
Non Lo So sits -175 with a 61% win chance and a 19.7 spread (245.11 to 225.44) against She likes it Bouchard. Total 470.6, and the market says the schedule merchant finally meets a collector.
Going in Drai & Snugg are -208 with a 64% win chance and a 26.9 spread over Hughes it or lose it (258.92 to 232.05). Total 491.0—points should fly unless Hughes it or lose it forgets to set the alarm again.
This Guy Fox Hymans are -280 with a 70% win chance and a 38.6 spread over Game Stopped (250.57 to 211.96). Total 462.5; either the model is drunk or Hymans are about to finally play to their luck-adjusted record.
Never Go Full Bedard is -157 with a 58% win chance and a 15.2 spread (229.52 to 214.33) over Orlov You Long Time. Total 443.9—bring your lunch pail and a calculator, this one screams grinders’ row.
Cum In Seider is -141 with a 56% win chance and a 10.4 spread against Sherwood Stuff Her Good (245.89 to 235.51). Total 481.4, and the league’s sledgehammer gets a real test instead of another crash-test dummy.