The Daily Chirp
Past issues: Week 5Week 4Week 3Week 2Week 1
Official standings
| # | Team | W-L | PF | PA | +/- | True win % | Streak |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | She likes it Bouchard | 4-1 | 1,189 | 1,116 | +73 | 67.3% | W2 |
| 2 | Jack Quinn Off | 4-1 | 1,094 | 1,115 | -22 | 49.1% | W3 |
| 3 | Never Go Full Bedard | 3-2 | 1,202 | 1,115 | +87 | 69.1% | W1 |
| 4 | Cum In Seider | 3-2 | 1,189 | 1,011 | +178 | 58.2% | W1 |
| 5 | Non Lo So | 3-2 | 1,162 | 1,102 | +60 | 54.5% | L2 |
| 6 | Going in Drai & Snugg | 3-2 | 1,157 | 1,118 | +39 | 52.7% | W3 |
| 7 | Sherwood Stuff Her Good | 3-2 | 1,145 | 1,053 | +91 | 49.1% | L1 |
| 8 | Game Stopped | 3-2 | 1,070 | 1,166 | -95 | 45.5% | L1 |
| 9 | Hughes it or lose it | 2-3 | 1,124 | 1,206 | -82 | 50.9% | W2 |
| 10 | This Guy Fox Hymans | 1-4 | 1,065 | 1,139 | -73 | 45.5% | L2 |
| 11 | Mitchy’s Maternity Leave | 1-4 | 1,015 | 1,130 | -115 | 25.5% | L3 |
| 12 | Orlov You Long Time | 0-5 | 1,050 | 1,188 | -139 | 32.7% | L5 |
Match up recap
Jack Quinn Off keeps lucky train rolling
Jack Quinn Off scraped by Sherwood Stuff Her Good 255.3–242.9, moving to 4-1 by a skinny 12.4. Sherwood got nuked by Stuart Skinner at -12.01 and a sleepy Macklin Celebrini at -11.07 even with Joel Farabee (28.6) and Dylan Cozens (27.0) doing work. The schedule merchant vibes are loud, but a win’s a win—just don’t sprain a wrist polishing that 12-point ‘dominance.’
Bouchard survives a 267.7 buzzsaw
She likes it Bouchard edged Orlov You Long Time 277.6–267.7, barely keeping the throne at 4-1. Orlov was the schedule victim, losing with the #3 score of the week—and it lands in the record book as 267.7, the most losing points of week 5. That’s five straight L’s for Orlov at 0-5, and every single one must feel like stepping on the exact same rake.
Snugg wins ugly and doesn’t apologize
Going in Drai & Snugg beat Mitchy’s Maternity Leave 232.7–209.8, and the awards say it all: saved by schedule with the #9 score of the week. Leon Draisaitl underdelivered by -10.3, but Viktor Arvidsson’s 28.3 showed up when it mattered. Mitchy got a nice 28.3 from Martin Pospisil and still slid to 1-4; that’s a three-week banana peel.
Hughes it or lose it wins the coin flip
Hughes it or lose it nipped Non Lo So 248.1–245.2, the closest matchup of the season at 2.9 points. I lost to a paper cut and I deserve the tetanus shot—W2 for Hughes, L2 for NLS, and the record book gets a new ‘closest’ entry to laugh at.
Bedard drops a league nuke
Never Go Full Bedard obliterated Game Stopped 298.4–187.2, setting the season high score and delivering the week’s biggest blowout at 111.2. Game Stopped underperformed projections by -58.22 despite Zach Benson scoring 29.1, which is like putting a bow on a dumpster fire. Bedard’s 298.4 now sits in the record book as the new high score—yikes.
Seider strolls; Fox Hymans faceplants
Cum In Seider handled This Guy Fox Hymans 247.2–177.0, a 70.2 curb-stomp. Fox Hymans posted the week’s worst score and got headlined by Gabriel Vilardi at -12.18; that’s a spicy meatball of regret. Seider is 3-2 with the second-best season point diff (+177.5) flexing quietly in the corner.
Fraud watch: Jack Quinn Off dodging punches
Jack Quinn Off is 4-1 with a true win pct of 49.1 and sits at +1.55 wins above expected, aka the league’s schedule merchant. You even won this week by 12.4 while rocking a season point diff of -21.6 and power ranked 4th—nothing illegal about it, just a lot of luck peeking through the curtains. Enjoy the heater before variance files for emancipation.
Weekly awards
Record book
Honor roll
Worst players
Power rankings
Week 6 preview
Jack Quinn Off is a -127 fave with 268.88 projected to Snugg’s 262.8 (53% win chance), but Going in Drai & Snugg rides a W3 and just cashed a ‘saved by schedule’ lotto ticket. If Draisaitl stops sandbagging, that 6.1 spread won’t look so comfy.
She likes it Bouchard is a -113 fave by 0.8 with a 50% win chance over Game Stopped, total at 461.4. Rank 1 vs rank 10 feels lopsided, but after a -58.22 week, Game Stopped can only bounce—or bellyflop—one way.
Non Lo So is -123 by 4.6 with 293.88 projected to Cum In Seider’s 289.23 (53% win chance), and the total is a ridiculous 583.1. Seider’s rocking a +177.5 season point diff, so any nap on my bench and I’m fertilizer.
This Guy Fox Hymans is -139 and projected 289.96 to Mitchy’s 279.95 (55% win chance) after posting the week’s worst score. Mitchy’s power ranked 12th and on an L3, so someone’s skid ends—probably the guy not starting Vilardi.
Hughes it or lose it is -136 by 8.9 with 283.17 projected and a 55% win chance over Never Go Full Bedard. That’s bold right after Bedard set the season high at 298.4, so pack a lunch and maybe two goalies.
Sherwood Stuff Her Good is -169 with an 18.2-point spread and 60% win chance over 0-5 Orlov You Long Time. Orlov’s the schedule victim specialist with 267.7 losing points last week, so treat this like a landmine, not a layup.